When I first decided I wanted to get into the fitness industry, I have to admit my motives were completely and utterly aesthetically driven. I wanted to be ripped. I wanted people to look at me when I walked down the street and know that I worked out. I wanted to be noticed.
Wow, even as I type these words I realise how self centred and shallow my intentions were. But I think it ran even deeper than that. Growing up in the 90’s and 2000’s, I was exposed to way less social media than is available to us now, yet I still believed that how I looked determined how important I was. If I had to dissect the reasons why I had these preconceived ideas, I’m not sure I could point the finger at one thing in particular. It had to be a combination of social media (television and movies), the company I kept, and my own existing belief systems.
Love. Validation. Acceptance. We all crave it. As far as I’m concerned, anyone who says they don’t is lying. But what is the price we’re willing to pay for this, and what impact is it having on our physical health and mental wellbeing?
Love. Validation. Acceptance. We all crave it. As far as I’m concerned, anyone who says they don’t is lying.
Like the majority of teenage girls, I went through a stage of purposely restricting my calories to get skinny. I would literally start my morning with a banana smoothie and a cigarette, then try to survive on not much else for the rest of the day. On the weekends it was lots of alcohol and dancing. Now if that doesn’t sound like a recipe for wellness, I’m not sure what does! (Insert sarcastic tone here).
Fast forward a few years and although it wasn’t that extreme, I constantly found myself yo-yoing back and forth, depending on how much time I had before the next event I had to get in “better shape” for. Negative self talk, comparing myself to others and an erratic and ever changing internal dialogue was the norm for me. It was exhausting, and upon reflection, that relentless state of stress became my body’s baseline and a major contributor to the gut and health issues I later experienced.
These gut issues soon became the next obstacle standing between me and my persistent desire for that killer bod. By now I was much more aware of what it meant to be healthy and consistent, but my thoughts would always circle back to those body composition goals. Don’t get me wrong. As a coach I’m ALL ABOUT setting goals, hard work and commitment. But I believe that when we let looks consume every part of our being, with little regard for our health, that’s when we need to reassess what’s important and why.
To be honest, I’m not exactly sure when the turning point was for me. I don’t think there was a defining moment that changed my perception, but rather a combination of experiences that helped me get to where I am now and able to achieve the acceptance I’ve been craving.
One thing I’ve learned in more recent times is that the key to living a happy and inspired life stems from the ability to love ourselves. Self-acceptance is concept that is easier said than done and there are some key components I believe are necessary if we wanna get there.
- ENVIRONMENT: One thing I know for sure is that it’s almost impossible to achieve sustainable results when you leave the gym and go to a work or home environment that makes you question life.
- PERSONAL DEVELOPMENT: A constant desire to be a better human.
- GRATITUDE: When we open our hearts to feel gratefulness, compassion care or appreciation, there is no room for negativity. Do it on the daily!
- COMMUNITY: Find your tribe and love them hard.
- NOURISHING FOODS: You want your body and your brain to start functioning better? Help them out by putting the right stuff in. Nuff said.
- MOVEMENT: Our bodies are capable of some epic shit. We were designed to MOVE. Start doing it more.
When we decide to immerse ourselves in a space that empowers us, excites us and challenges us in a positive way, that’s when the magic happens. I’ve been blessed enough to be involved in a community at 5th Element Wellness that does all of the above, and then some. Being there has taught me what job satisfaction is and the importance of being around like-minded people who inspire me to want to be better everyday. Not for anyone else though. For myself.
Find your tribe and love them hard.
I’m not gonna lie. It wasn’t easy to get my mindset to where it is today. And believe me, despite all the knowledge I have and the healthy habits I’ve mastered, I still have days where I catch myself letting that internal dialogue head south.
Part of my mission now is to help my clients and anyone else I see affected by the heavy standards and expectations imposed on us by this world. Help them see the connection between self love and the decisions we make everyday. Teach them that slow and steady wins the body transformation race and that fixing ourselves from the inside out will eventually result in change on the outside too. I come into contact with far too many people fixated on how they want to look (like I did) that they forget to see all the positivity in their lives.
I still don’t have that 6-pack I craved for all those years, but I have so many other amazing things in my life that it’s way down my priority list now. What this journey has taught me is that life and all it encompasses runs so much deeper than what’s on the outside. We need to start realising that it ain’t just skin deep. It goes far beyond that and it’s not worth the price so many pay, both men and women, to look good on the outside, while perhaps slowly dying on the inside.
Don’t let how you look or how you wish you could look dictate every moment of your existence. Learn to love and respect yourself and watch your daily habits start to transform. If you‘re not happy then do something about it. But do it the right way and don’t lead yourself down a path that will ultimately leave you feeling burnt out and completely unsatisfied. Know you’re worth then acceptance will come forth.
